FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
