The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
