"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
