everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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