i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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