Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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