yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
