from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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