At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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