I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Gay?
German.
Pity.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
