remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
