just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
