Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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