i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
My liver is preforming stress tests.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize
