the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
