Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Did I show you my penis last night?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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