I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
