I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
MIDGETS
????
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
