fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
