You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
