There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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