We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
