Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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