I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
