He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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