Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Randomize
