I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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