if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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