some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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