whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
