So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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