Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
