I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
