that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Randomize
