i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
