dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
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