So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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