All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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