And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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