he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
