I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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