just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
