p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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