We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
