She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
