He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
