This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
