Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Randomize
