yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
