I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
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